I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
