i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
