i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
