I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
not ubering you a puppy
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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