So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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