i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
