Midget sex pt 2 tonight
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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