If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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