Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
