____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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