It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
