The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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