We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Redeem this text for a blowjob
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
