Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
