I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
