I just made out with a guy for $7.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
