you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
