my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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