mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
