Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
