Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
