yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize