Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize