I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He passed out mid-signature
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
