Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
