well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
