Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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