Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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