is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
