a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
