Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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