Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I still have a little drunk in my system
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
