i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
