You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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