I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
