North Korea, Best Korea!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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