Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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