Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
