That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize