While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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