Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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