WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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