i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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