If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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