i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
