Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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