who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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