Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
