on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize