Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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