She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
there is glitter all over my balls
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
