Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
