are you still at the devil's house?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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