My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
