Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
